One interview will be performed by a guy. I did some Google Kung Fu and found that he has a Master's degree, but no PhD. As I've discussed before on this blog, I am able to find ways to put myself down in the most ridiculous ways possible. In this case, I am worried that I won't know something as well as he does (and seriously, who could blame me, I'm DEEP but not necessarily BROAD), and he will be like, "How can this chick have a PhizzleDizzle? She doesn't know anything." Somehow, I put more pressure on myself to super perform because I will be interviewed by someone with an MS. Is that not insane?
The other interview will be performed by a female PhD. At first I thought, "Oh, nice, a woman." But then I thought, "Oh shit, a woman." Because sometimes women can be so hard on other women, particularly in fields where there aren't a lot of women. Maybe she will think I will make women like her look bad if I say something stupid. I don't know. I've experienced this sort of woman-on-woman treatment before, and even been a perpetrator myself at times (to my chagrin). Maybe she will be a hard-ass. Maybe she will hold me to a super-high standard because she thinks in order to succeed as a woman in my field, you have to kick way more ass than a dude.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Basically, I am thinking of ways to make myself nervous. And it alarms me that I had a negative gender response in this case. Actually, I had a positive, and a negative response, in rapid succession. I don't know.
Just tell me to stop overthinking and wish me luck.
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16 comments:
Stop over thinking and good luck!
When are the interviews?
I have the same opinion of women in my field, and it's affecting my list of who I want on my examining board. At first I thought having a woman would be great - solidarity and all that...but then I realized that they might be harder on me just to prove a point. So, you're not alone with your worries!
Stop over thinking and good luck!
stop overthinking, relax and be yourself. Degrees are not necessarily an indication of intelligence and/or knowledge, you know that. Ms or not, male or female all you can do is your best and be true to yourself. I am sure you will rock.
Given your prowess with Fibbonacci, I have no doubts that your interviews can go well. Just let your awesome inner geek shine!
Best of luck!
MCH: Thanks! The interviews are 1-2 weeks from now. And I am glad to know I'm not alone! It's so sad but true.
AA and TT: Thanks!
SM: I've got to remember what you've said, you put it so well :).
Good luck, take a deep breath and take it easy on yourself. And keep in mind that you don't have to know *everything* in order to get the job. :)
Congrats!
Using nothing but social psych and personal experience, I would say expect the interview with the dude to be awkward and uncomfortable. Not because he's a guy, but because you have a more advanced degree. Hope that he's a total nerd who is impressed rather than made insecure by someone with more advanced studies.
With the woman, go in there under the assumption that if she's one of very few she's looking to get some company. Don't assume that she's going to make things hard for you or you will be more likely to feel defensive during the interview. Put yourself in her position - how would you feel about possibly hiring another woman to join you in research or whatever, and what would that woman say to you to show that she's capable and someone worth supporting?
But most importantly, BE YOURSELF. I've had more interviews than I can count, and the one thing I've learned is that if you aren't yourself, chances are you will end up working somewhere that you hate. The job needs to fit YOU and they need YOU to fit them. The workplace that allows you to (mostly) be yourself is where you will be most successful and happy. :)
And good luck!
Rebecca: Thanks! I have to remember that one time I got a tough internship even though I thought I bombed the interview just because I was slow (I thought). I just have to relax, and do it!
JLK: Yes, the personality of these peeps have a lot to do with how it's going to go, and I should not make myself crazy it's going to be the worst. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. That's my plan.
And in interviews, I am almost always myself. That's a skill I used to have, though I'm quite out of practice. :)
Prepare for the worse, hope for the best. As my mother has always told us, when the time comes, may all you know be all you need to know.
Two weeks is alot of time to worry yourself into oblivion about every tiny little detail. So in your own words, stop thinking and good luck!
To keep your mind off it read lots on the backgrounds of the companies, the work, your own work. There's nothing like being prepared for confidence.
Wow, stop overthinking for sure.
You forgot to think about the fact that they set up these interviews with you. They need someone to fill a position and they think you might be just the right person. So, why assume they're going to be thinking bad things?
If anything you should assume that they both are hopeful that it works out with you and that you'll be wonderful co-workers for years to come.
PPD: You are so right! It's funny because as I read your advice it sounded familiar - because I've said that exact same thing to OTHER people! But of course, I would never think to tell myself that. I am a funny creature.
I struggle with the woman-to-woman competitiveness thing (although I've gotten better lately, maybe it's since I became a mommy). Anyway, I like to listen to the song "Sister Blister" by Alanis Morissette -- helps me get positive again.
Sorgen Sie nicht so viel and ich wünsche dir Erfolg erst und Glück zweitens!
(Don't worry yourself so much and I wish you success first and luck second! I thought that maybe hearing it in a 2nd language might help, you know, compound your magical pixie dust.)
Wear clothing that is comfortable and that you know makes you look both professional and hot, in that order. This is why I feel better in my chamber music performance clothes than in a suit.
Good luck!
I overthink things way too much too, and I know that just telling you not to is not going to help! Just try to use that tendency to your advantage - to think of all the questions they could possibly ask you! Remember, they're both just people... and lots of people get just as nervous conducting an interview as being interviewed themselves.
You know, it would never occur to me to worry about this! I have often found myself working in groups that are trying to hire, so I've *conducted* far more interviews than I can count. And on the relatively rare occasion when I've gotten to interview a woman, it wouldn't occur to me to be competitive. I've always been too busy thinking, "Yay! Another woman! Yay!!!"
And then, after the interview, I spend the entire hiring meeting making sure that none of the guys are being sexist, and making sure that she (like every other candidate) gets evaluated on merit. I'm going to go with: having a female interviewer is a very very good thing.
Frozone, Thanks for the suggestion, I'll listen to it :).
TS: These are phone interviews at first, but last night a girlfriend and I agreed I should still dress well those days to influence my mind to know that I am awesome :).
Cath: Thanks, that's also good advice. I *am* trying to use the stress to make myself prepared.
Nicky: You put my mind at ease - if I were interviewing a female candidate, I, too, would try to to make sure she got a fair shake from everyone, so it helps to think of things that way :).
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