Cooool dork stuff.

Ok, so, I said would be gone a lot lately. However, I just found out about a great way to make it WAY easier to post when I come home.

So, how many of you have two different google accounts, one for your real life, and one for your blogger, and you hate how you can't be logged into both at the same time? I don't like having two browsers open so I can have both accounts because of the RAM consumption, so in the end, if I ever wanted to post, I would have to go to blogger.com, sign out of my "real life", sign into my new life, and then go back to my gmail so I could still have that going on. Then, I could continue and blog if I felt like it. Like I said yesterday, after coming home from a long day of work, that just seemed like too much.

But today, I found out about two apps that could allow you to log into TWO google accounts at once (among other things, but I won't get into those right now).

On Windows: http://prism.mozillalabs.com/

On Mac: fluidapp.com/

Basically, you can wrap one of your websites into another app, so that it appears like a separate desktop app. So now, you can have a "blogger app", where you are logged in at Phizz, and a gmail app, where you are logged in as "Real Me". When I want to post, I can just open Blogger App, and off I go! Wow, how easy! That little difference may cause me to post just SLIGHTLY more, and it may help those who want to make a very strong distinction between work and home life like me.

Now, if you want to get slightly more geekoid, you should read the next part. So...one thing I have been increasingly uncomfortable with is how when I browse the web, everything on the web seems to know shit about me. Like, how come when I go to CNN.com, it knows that 4 of my FB friends liked that article. How do you know who my friends are? Why is that information kind of "in the wild" on the browser instead of confined to whatever tab my facebook account is on? Why does that persist even when I close my FB tab? How come my FB suggests friends for me where I don't have any mutual friends with them, and are just random people I have emailed with once in gmail? How do they know who is on my gmail contacts list? Why does Linked In suggest people for me as well, people that I don't understand how they know about?

Well, it's because you probably clicked something like "remember me" or "keep me signed in" on things like your google account and your facebook account, so that basically means they know everything about where you go on the web and what you click, who you know, and who you're friends with. I don't like that. So that's when I found out about these tools I linked to above, so that you can have, basically a protected box around your accounts where can stay logged in but they won't follow you around the internet. There you go - your web safety/privacy tip of the day.

where is Phizz?

i haven't posted in 5 months. that's a long time.

i don't log into this account while i am at work. when i come home from work i am tired. the line between work and home is much more pronounced. when i come home, i do not want to be on my computer. i want to watch the real housewives of new jersey or read my library books and drink wine. i don't have much to say anymore either, because my working conditions are excellent.

who knew blogging could be hard? :) i will probably remain quite intermittent from now on. i only logged in today to delete all those freakin annoying spam comments that suddenly showed up in one of my posts. i had to delete 49 of them. suckdom. now i am going to read one of my library books and go to sleep.

good night peeps. hope all in the blogosphere are well.

Women and The Olympics

So I'm not actually following the Winter Olympics that much, I'm not super into snow sports, and I've been so occupied lately with other parts of my life that I've just hardly watched very much except for a few snippets here and there.

However, I have always loved the Summer Olympics, and recently I was at my local library and saw the book "Rome, 1960" featured...I had heard of this book before and picked it up. It's about the 1960 Olympics in Rome. It's really fascinating, 1960 was really a seminal Olympics in a lot of ways. I would highly recommend it.

Anyhow, so I'm waking to a luxurious Sunday morning and continued reading...and read that women ran the 800m in the 1928 Olympics, and apparently, the sight of women collapsing at the finish line after such an all-out effort greatly disturbed the powers that be, and they banned 800m races for women because they were too frail to complete it, as evidenced by the 1928 Olympics. Men collapsed at the end of the 800m all the time, but women so fatigued was apparently "too much" for the men to witness and they banned it. The roots of this came from the founder of the modern Olympic Games, Pierre de Coubertin, who was known to be disturbed by the notion of women and sports, according to the book:

He said he was disturbed by the very notion of women competing in sports, often citing how upset he once was to see women whooshing down a snowy hill on sleds.

What in the fuck does that even mean? It doesn't even make sense.

But back to the 800m. So it was reinstated to great controversy in 1960. Apparently in the press box, Don Graham (son of the great great Katherine Graham), overhead a British journalist saying to another journalist:

how it was "unconscionable --- they should never allow women to run so far."

I mean, seriously, when I really think about this stuff, I get so disturbed. 800m? 800m is not far. It's two fucking laps around a track. 6 years olds can run 800m without dying. How could this be the prevailing attitude? What the FUCK? I don't know why I'm so strongly affected by this.

Anyhow, despite all the brouhaha, the momentum had begun, and twelve years later, women were allowed to run the 1500m. Until 1972, people thought women weren't fucking capable of running a distance that is not even quite a fucking mile. Finally, in 1984, women were allowed to run the marathon. 1984? 1984???? That's in my lifetime. Did people seriously think women could not handle marathons until 19-fucking-84? Jesus fucking Christ.

It almost makes me want to run one to show all those fuckers wherever they are that they were full of fucking horseshit. At the very least, I've run more than a couple half marathons, and I'm still alive. In fact, I am fucking awesome.

It's times like this that I remember how recently it was that women were considered weak-ass nothings...and how latent that kind of sentiment could be just bubbling under some surfaces, since it was so recent. We have come a long way (no longer chattel, at least), but there is still a long way to go before everyone thinks of every woman as a strong and legitimate human being capable of anything men are capable of.

If you think about it, 100,000 years ago, there is no way ancient cavemen could have survived if the women, the ones who bore the children couldn't even run fucking 800m. Duh.

Ok, I'll stop ranting now. If you are interested in a less swear-word-laden synposis of women's running in the Olympics, check this out:

http://www.runblogrun.com/2008/08/evolution_of_olympic_womens_at.html

BARBIE IS A COMPUTER ENGINEER!!!!!!

Watch Out, Computer Engineers: Barbie Wants Your Job

Thanks to all you guys who voted to make Barbie a computer engineer, this occupation won the popular vote!!!!!

This is so exciting to me. I might actually buy this Barbie and put her in my office. I can't describe how....validating this feels. Part of me feels that is pathetic, but part of me feels proud that the forces of the world united to show Mattel that people want Barbie to be a nerd. Can you imagine? How many women (and men) nerds out there joined together for this? This tells me that I am not as alone as I feel sometimes. That there are other women out there like me, and men (like CPP who voted for Computer Engineer!!!!) who are supportive. This is not some little online poll, this is a vote that made an international toy giant choose Computer Engineer for Barbie's next career! I am gushing. I am embarrassed by my joy.

The other part of this which I think is important is that, apparently, the Society of Women Engineers and the National Academy of Engineering both had a hand in designing her outfit. And let me say, I would wear this outfit. Computer Engineers don't have to be Mountain Dew-addled guys who haven't showered in 4 days. I know a few of those, but they are vastly outnumbered by nice normal people - and this is a truly widespread way of reducing that stereotype. Computer Engineers can be girls. Computer Engineers can wear cute (albeit geeky) cloths. Computer Engineers can have long, lustrous, beautiful hair. Computer Engineers....can be Barbie. And maybe now, so will a lot of little girls. Who knows, maybe I'm putting to much stock into this. But it's such a lonely world out there for us girl geeks....that this makes me really quite happy.

Happy Hacking, Barbie :).

cold

my in-laws like to keep their house at 55 degrees. when i'm around, sometimes they raise it to 58.

my fingers are cold. it is hard to type. time to make myself some tea.

Bizarre co-worker

I have this co-worker - well, I wouldn't call him that, but he works for the same company as me and is on the same floor, but I have never spoken to him, don't know his name, or what he does.

What I do know, is the man is seriously socially inept. The floor is maybe 5-10% women, not really sure exactly. I've occasionally passed this man in the hall and each time, he is very obviously completely pretending I don't exist. Now, it's more than that, I don't really care if he thinks I exist or not, but it's that if he turns a corner and sees me, he almost involuntarily looks up at where the wall meets the ceiling and continues to stare at it as he walks by. If I turn a corner and surprise him, the same thing happens. I can always see that he is walking normally (staring at the floor a few feet in front of him), but when I come into sight, it's eyes up to the ceiling. It's comical.

I guess I can just thank FSM that he doesn't automatically stare at my boobs.

The weird thing is, there was a company lunch the other day, and dude comes in and sits a few people down from my table while I was getting food, and I heard him say to the people around him, "Hi guys, I don't know you guys, how's it going?" And I was like, WHAT? So he IS a social animal, and it's just me? Or what?

I guess if he worked in the same group as me or near me, or I had to liaise with him sometime as a part of work, this would annoy me more, but as it stands now, I just find it a bit pathetically amusing. Poor little man.

Vote for Barbie's Next Career

Has this circulated the blogosphere already?

If not, please consider voting for Barbie's next occupation. There are only 5 choices, and one of them is COMPUTER ENGINEER!!!!

As a woman in computing, this makes me exceedingly happy. No more of this "math is hard!" shit.

You can vote here: http://www.barbie.com/vote.

Back, sorta?

Well peeps, I haven't been around in a LONG while. It's because I haven't had internet at home. I don't know, I hated dealing with Comcast so much that I just put it off, and off....until the New Year. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to keep up your "online presences" when you don't have an internet connection? Obviously, it's really really hard.

So, hopefully I'll be around more often now.

Presumed feminism

So, I've had a few things happen in my life where I am talking about something, and someone assumes that I am being like, all offended in a feminist way, when in fact I was not thinking along those lines whatsoever.

It's very annoying because sometimes, I am so surprised that it is only minutes later that I even realize what they must have thought I was saying, and I can't even go back to fix it, and now they assume I am a raging overly-sensitive feminist.

Example 1:

There was a methodology and toolset proposed and pushed by a member of the faculty at my university. It's good in its place, but as technology has changed, it is no longer enough. I was at a conference, and this methodology came up, and when a question session came up, there was a queue at the microphone. A prominent professor at another university said, "REAL men use methodology Foo when they are doing Bar." Meanwhile, the professor at my university was standing RIGHT behind him, waiting to defend his honor because his methodology is simpler and does not do Foo. It was somewhat deliciously dramatic, but the moderator of the session stopped all questions after this.

I was back at school, relaying this story to a fellow student. I said, "and THEN, Prof. Awesome said, 'REAL men use Foo when doing Bar!' It was insane!" And then fellow student said, "Well, I'm sure he MEANT real scientists, he didn't really mean MEN." I was thinking to myself, what in the hell is he talking about?

After the conversation was over, I realized he thought I was offended at the term "real men" because it excluded women. Which was so entirely ridiculous that I missed it at the time. What the hell? It's so annoying. And now this guy walks around thinking that he can't use the turn of phrase, "REAL men do X" when I'm around because then I will try to kick his ass. Which is totally not true.

Example 2:

This occurred more recently. There is a policy in my office about making coffee, which I think is very common. If you take the last bit, you make a new pot. Very simple. Very reasonable.

I had been lucky enough to avoid having to do this for several weeks after I had started work. Then, I had the fortune of getting hit with making a new pot two days in a row. The first time, I was thinking, well, it's about time I guess. And the next day, I was like, "hahaha, how funny that it worked this way. well, shucks."

Then a coworker comes in and is like, "oh you're making coffee?" and I said, "yup, i've been lucky enough to get it two days in a row!"

And he says, "well, it's just random you know..." and something about it seemed really defensive. I know he said something else, but I don't remember what, but I do remember it was somewhat defensive. I was confused, but I don't know this guy very well. Later, I realized (though I don't remember exactly why, this was a few months ago) that he had thought I was annoyed at being foisted coffee duty because I'm a woman.

And again, I"m like what the hell? Any human would be like, "ack, two days in a row!" Not that I won't make coffee, but it's not like people are happy when they have to do it. Am I annoyed because I'm a woman? Of course not. Do I feel like there is some conspiracy to get me to make the coffee? No, because I'm a friggin reasonable person and I realize that this is just the way the cookie crumbles in this system. I was just griping good-naturedly about my luck, and he assumes I'm ready to freakin sue the company.

So again, since the leap of logic on the part of the dude was so ridiculous, I did not understand what he meant at the time, and then when I realized he thought I was getting my feminist panties in a twist it was too late to be like, dude, that's not it.

Does this happen to you guys? I feel like it happens to me more than I would like and it really bugs me.

Thanking your committee etiquette

So, it's been a whirlwind since I've defended, and I realize now that the dust has settled that I ought to thank my committee more than by sending effusive thank you emails and giving effusively grateful thank yous post-defense.

What ought I do? I have bought some thank you cards (nice one, not ones in a pack), and especially nice ones for my chairs. I also purchased bound copies of my thesis for the chairs, though not the rest of the committee. I have received mixed signals about this. Some said I definitely should get some for all, others said that tradition is being phased out. In a survey of my recently graduated peers it was nearly 50/50 in my department.

Either way, I can't decide if very nice thank you cards are enough, or not? Note that I hardly know several of my committee members, and they are spread out over the country so things like restaurant gift certificates are not really feasible.

What did you do for your committee?

Comcast is stupid, Part II

Ok, so I just tried again with the LiveChat, and again, they asked for my SSN and said it was to comply with some FTC rule. But when I said, "I've been assured by a Comcast rep that an SSN is not necessary", they said, "oh, well ok then, how about a driver's license number?" So I said, ok, let's do that. Great to know that if I hadn't objected or known, I'd still be made to feel that it was necessary to give it.

So then, we're setting up the appointment, and I distinctly remember a screen telling me there would be a $23 installation fee as I clicked through the order.

She then tells me that installation will be $123 dollars! Turns out it is only $23 for the television, and, get this....$99 for the internet. $99!!! That is anal rape.

1. I do not need ANYTHING special for this. I've got a freakin PhD in Computer Science, I can handle my networking stuff. So I did not ask for any sort of professional installation in terms of setting up a router, installing software on my computer, or anything like that.
2. I don't need anythign wired at the place, the place is fully wired.
3. I LITERALLY need them to remove a trap and configure me. I can't believe people pay $99 for that. That is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!

She also tells me that because I have been so nice (I have, I am generally always nice to service people because they are people too), she can get me to just under $50 for the install. This STILL seems crazy to me. People will come install satellite dishes for $0. SATELLITE DISHES. It is much more complicated than removing a trap from a house that is already totally wired.

So, I think...well, there's a coffee shop nearby, work is not far...Maybe I won't get internet...maybe it's not REALLY necessary. That's how against paying this fee I am, because it just completely offends my sense of what things should cost. So I ask the person, "What if I just got TV, then?"

You know what happens?

She ignores me. I sit at my computer for minutes, thinking maybe she is checking with a supervisor or something...but no, I am literally hanging for minutes. I am much more patient than your average person here, so finally, I just typed, "hello?" and waited a minute or two more. Finally, I realized that somehow, asking a legitimate question had pushed the wrong buttons, and I was being frozen out.

So, I wrote, "Ok then. Thank you for your time," waited about 30 more seconds, and logged out. I wish in hindsight that I had timed the difference in time between my messages, but then, I didn't think that I was going to get ignored. But I think I probably waited a total of 7-8 minutes or so....in a LIVE CHAT.

Goodness gracious. I would have been willing to pay around $25 or so, but instead I didn't sign up. Again. Sigh. It shouldn't be this hard.

Comcast is stupid

Comcast wants my social security number in order to get service.

I googled it and apparently they've had this policy for a while, but it's the first time since I last signed up. I'm like, whaaa? Yeah right! You've gotta be fucking kidding me, I don't trust my number with them (or anyone for that matter - I am very stingy with that number). With all the brouhaha today about being careful with your SSN, you think I'm just going to type it over the internet to some person? You think I'm going to give it to a cable company? Please!

What the hell is that about? I want TV and internet, but I do NOT want to give them my SSN. Even their customer service czar has twittered that they don't require it, but that doesn't stop their representatives from trying to get it from you. That's the biggest rub. When exposed, the Comcast customer service czar twittered that their policy was not to require SSN. This happened in 2008. And yet, reps are still trying to tell you that you have to give it to them (that's what happened to me today). So they are either hugely ineffective at getting training to their reps, or they are purposefully trying to get people to give SSNs because they assume people will eventually just give it to them. Well, I pushed back, and I said no. They said, you have to, there is no other way. I said thanks and hung up on the chat.

The worst part is that the rep tried to tell me that the reason they needed the number was to make sure I qualified for the best service and deals, and to see if I needed to put in a deposit for service. I told them I had an account that I canceled several months prior before I moved and couldn't they just look that up to see that it was in good standing...and the answer was No. If you need it to make sure I'm not going to stiff you, can't you just see that I've been a good paying customer for years?

There's a reason why Comcast was runner up to AIG in this years Consumerist Worst Company in America contest. I've always used them because I've never had another choice. This is not the first time they have pissed me off. I think this time I'm going to try to find something else though. I'm going to try hard, because I really, REALLY don't think I should have to give them my social.

Word Loss

I recently read a book that used the word "carrion."

I was thinking about this today as I brushed my teeth, and I thought....in fifty years, will people use or know the word "carrion"? I mean...it was the first time I'd come across that word in....oh, I don't know, 10 years? Maybe not since my college days, where I had more time to read books. And now that I am done with grad school, I have time once again.

But I get the sense that people don't read anymore, not like they used to. So...isn't it entirely possible that we are losing words constantly, as they fall out of favor and it gets to the point that most of the population don't know what they mean?

Somehow, this made me sad. I wonder how many 15 year olds these days know what "carrion" means.

Being taken care of vs. being dominated

I have this friend who has got this really nice boyfriend. I like him pretty well.

The thing is, I can't tell if she is being dominated or being taken care of. Initially, I liked the boyfriend a lot because he takes care of my friend, who...well...evokes the aura of needing to be taken care of. He carries stuff for he, he does things in the background she doesn't even realize so that things just work, it's like magic.

On the other hand, it's almost like he thinks she can't do anything for herself. Granted, I have my doubts too about her ability to do certain things as well, but I can't decided if the dynamic between them two is sweet or scary.

When does "oh honey, let me do that for you" become, "oh honey, let me do that before you (because i think you'll destroy something in the process and everything is better when i do it)"?

Even worse, does the latter actually create a feedback loop SUCH THAT the person becomes worse and worse at doing things? I think that's sort of happening and it makes me concerned for my friend.

The state of science education

I was listening to NPR the other morning. I like NPR. I generally give NPR the benefit of the doubt, that they're not going to be a bunch of blithering idiots going on about stupid shit.

So it's an episode of Weekday, and the interviewee is some guy who has just written a book about the periodic table. The interviewer asks a few questions which I think are reasonable considering this is going to a wide audience: "Can you tell us, what really is an element, what defines an it?" Fine, fine.

Then she asks some sort of question saying something like, "So let's say you've got this element with 2.4 protons...."

WHAT? It made me sad.

Interviewing

For the first time, I am slated to interview someone. It's kind of exciting and interesting at the same time.

I have no idea how I'm going to do it. There is a significant part of me that thinks this person is going to come out and say, "why the fuck do you have a job at this place? they should totally take me instead. you're found out now!!!"

I don't actually think that's going to happen, but one thing I am finding to be a problem is my need to feel SO on top of everything that I am extremely unsure if I don't know exactly what I am talking about, which makes me seem stupid. It's the classic "bluff" problem that has been discussed ad nauseum regarding the genders. I need time to think, plan out what I am going to say, and all that jazz. And at this interview, for a position/role that I am unfamiliar with, I am terrified of seeming like an idiot because obviously I will not be the expert in the room.

I guess I need to approach this with a position of power and not be such a wimp.

Don't worry about it, it's historical

The other day, I was minorly irked about how a form for something that I had to do now that I am a resident in New State because of New Job had Mr. Phizz's name first, even though I was the person who handled the entire interaction with Other Party.

It was just a field that involved putting who the contract was about, and the person who made the form put "Mr. PhizzleDizzle and Dr. PhizzleDizzle." It was a freeform field and could have been filled out in the opposite order without any detriment or confusion.

I said to someone offhand in my office, "Oh, that's so annoying, because I am the only person this person who made the form has dealt with. Lame."

He brushed me off and said, "Don't worry about it! It's just historical. Don't let it ruin your day."

Somehow this really annoyed me. I think I would have forgotten about it momentarily if he had not said just a ridiculous thing. I was never going to let it ruin my day, but to be brushed off with "it's historical" is the lamest thing I have ever heard. You want to know what's historical? INSTITUTIONAL SEXISM is historical. Institutional racism is historical. Institutional poverty is historical. Saying something shouldn't bother me BECAUSE IT'S HISTORICAL is garbage.

Spotting in Football

Am I the only person who thinks spotting in football is ridiculous? It's the most ridiculous thing ever. Methinks the precision of spotting is probably around +/- 1 foot, probably, and yet, they act like it's exact (or at least within millimeters) when they break out the chains. It is comical. I really find it funny.

Blogging at work

So, one thing I have been struggling with is general paranoia regarding computer usage at work.

I hesitate to check my email at work. When I log into facebook (which I look at about 1 minute of every two hours or s0 to catch up on my feed), I don't input anything - I see a status report or something that makes me want to respond in a political way, I don't. I try to remember to do it when I get home, but usually I'm wiped and the thing I wanted to respond to has been bumped off my radar screen. Likewise, when I think of something to blog, I don't. And then when I get home, I'm wiped.

I don't want to do anything at work that sheds light on my personal life, my political leanings, or even just general things that don't have to do with work. I don't even open my google reader, at all, at work.

Am I being too paranoid? Should I just chill out? Certainly, I don't want to blog at work, I do have anonymity I want to preserve.

Remember that I am in a corporate environment, not academic. I don't know. I am always very suspicious of corporations and I have read one too many articles about employees who were fired because they were careless with their usage of computers/networks. I don't know where the line is.

Does anyone have an opinion?

To the fucker who stole $100 from my wallet

I know you think you deserve a prize for even turning in my purse after I left it on my chair at lunch. You probably think, "At least I didn't steal the whole thing."

But you know what? The $97 in cash in that wallet was MINE. Not yours. Mine.

This is the 2nd time in a year I've left my purse somewhere only to have it returned - but without cash. $45 bucks the first time and $100 the second. What makes people think this shit is ok? Do you think you deserve a fat reward? Sure, I'd feel less enraged if I was missing $20 bucks. That might be ok. But to just help yourself to all the cash because you can, is fucking screwed up.

So how can I deal with this? There is part of me that is trying to imagine that someone who is really down on their luck found my wallet and is using it to buy groceries for their hungry children for a week. There's even a part of me that if someone left a note, saying, "I'm so sorry, but I considered this a sign because I really need this to go to the doctor" or something, I wouldnt' be so upset.

But I feel really pissed and personally violated.

On the one hand, I feel lucky, because I am so a master of my own universe that I cannot remember the last time I felt this enraged by something beyond my control and that I could do nothing about. In fact, the last time was the last time someone stole cash out of my wallet. There is something to be said about being so fortunate that I am generally in control of my destiny and don't have to feel violated on a daily basis.

On the other, I am fucking pissed as hell. What the hell is wrong with this world? I would NEVER EVER EVER do something like that.

ASSHOLE.