Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Don't worry about it, it's historical

The other day, I was minorly irked about how a form for something that I had to do now that I am a resident in New State because of New Job had Mr. Phizz's name first, even though I was the person who handled the entire interaction with Other Party.

It was just a field that involved putting who the contract was about, and the person who made the form put "Mr. PhizzleDizzle and Dr. PhizzleDizzle." It was a freeform field and could have been filled out in the opposite order without any detriment or confusion.

I said to someone offhand in my office, "Oh, that's so annoying, because I am the only person this person who made the form has dealt with. Lame."

He brushed me off and said, "Don't worry about it! It's just historical. Don't let it ruin your day."

Somehow this really annoyed me. I think I would have forgotten about it momentarily if he had not said just a ridiculous thing. I was never going to let it ruin my day, but to be brushed off with "it's historical" is the lamest thing I have ever heard. You want to know what's historical? INSTITUTIONAL SEXISM is historical. Institutional racism is historical. Institutional poverty is historical. Saying something shouldn't bother me BECAUSE IT'S HISTORICAL is garbage.

12 comments:

Alyssa said...

See, he can say crap like that because it doesn't happen to him everyday. He can brush it off. But, all those little instances pile up, and that's when it starts to become annoying. I find I'm getting more and more sensitive to such comments the more I hear them.

Anyway, sorry about the name thing and the ignorant comment. At least some of us will understand what you're saying!

Candid Engineer said...

When we bought our home, I handled every nut and bolt having to do with the mortgage. Our mortgage was quite complicated- I learned a ton about the mortgage industry and was on the phone with our mortgage guy every day. So we buy this house and the mortgage bill starts showing up- guess who it's addressed to??? Not the person who knows every damn thing about it. For some reason, this pissed me the hell off.

chall said...

ha, my cynical comment would be "at least it didn't say to Dr PD and Mrs PD" .... yup, been there, done that. "what? the Dr isn't the Mr" ... duh.

sorry.

ScienceGirl said...

Same thing happened to me when I sold the tiny apartment I owned before Hubby and I were even together. I handled the sale, I was the only owner of the property, and yet Hubby's name ended up everywhere before mine. When I asked, the person filing all the paperwork (a woman!) just said, "We always put the husband's name first" and looked at me like I was a bitch for suggesting otherwise. Urgh.

Ambivalent Academic said...

Word. I'm sorry. How nice (for him) that it doesn't affect him and he can go on his merry way pretending it doesn't matter.

Psych Post Doc said...

Well it is historical, but that's the friggen problem. That would have made the whole thing worse for me too and I probably would have let loose on him. LOL

When my husband and I go out to eat, if I'm paying the bill and the server gives my credit card and slip back to my husband it makes my blood boil. Hubby will always say "do I look like a (my name)". Ugh

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

Ugh.

At our 2nd wedding reception in England, the hotel wanted to put up a sign to direct guests, because there were 2 other weddings going on that night. My parents were organising that event, so the hotel people called my Mum to confirm that it should say "Mr and Mrs E" (i.e. that I'd taken hubby's last name). My Mum told them to put "Mr and Dr E". They said "you mean Dr and Mrs E?"

My mum called me at this point, full of confusion, and saying "I know what they mean. I mean, Mr and Dr E just sounds odd. They don't want to do it".

Grrrr.

I didn't want a bloody sign anyway!

We ended up with "[his first name] and Cath E".

Bloody ridiculous.

Alyssa said...

We got a phone call the other day and DH answered. It was our alumni association, and they asked for "Dr. G". DH then said "which one?" and they were so flabbergasted that it took them a couple minutes to come up with an answer.

I guess that response isn't on their reference list :P

chall said...

cath> That is sort of what I am talking about... "confusion, you mean a Mrs can be a Dr? duh".

something about that Dr/Mrs Biden comes to mind....

PhizzleDizzle said...

I can't decide if I am glad or sad that I am not alone. Sigh. Thanks for sharing the stories!

Silver Fox said...

You'd think people (and forms) could handle this sort of thing by now. Another interesting thing is how they will mix up last and first names, like we'll get mail to Mr. HisFirst MyLastname and other strange combos, because we don't have the same last name.

Amanda@Lady Scientist said...

That drives me crazy! I have the same problem with our mortgage and insurance companies. I'm the one who talks with them and Dr. Man is the one they addressee on all the envelopes!