Thursday, July 9, 2009

Long Distance is Hard

Mr. Phizz, my own personal Mr. Amazing, as I've blogged about many times before, and I have been having some difficulties with the distance, because it's exacerbated by a number of things:

  1. Before, when we had to deal with distance, we both went to new places. This time, I am in the new place and I have left him behind.
  2. Before, we were in the same time zone. Now we are not.
  3. Before, I did not have a job that demanded a lot of my attention and time. Now I do.
  4. Before, we were not married, now we are. This means that a lot of logistical decisions about life affect both of us and merit discussion, whereas before I would just do what I did because it was my life and he was just my boyfriend.
All told, we are holding up well, but I do not recommend doing what we are doing. Fortunately though, in the grand scheme of things we are still good - he supports me and my job and is not blaming me for leaving him behind at all. The difficulties are just artifacts of the circumstances we are in.

I love the guy. But man, I wish he could visit me more.


Mrs. CH said...

:( I'm sorry that it's so hard right now. Do you get to see him soon?

Amanda@Lady Scientist said...

I'm sorry it's so hard right now. It does suck. I did the long distance thing with a boyfriend in college and it was very different to do doing the long distance thing with Dr. Man. I hope you get to see him soon!

ScientistMother said...

I couldn't imagine having to do what you've done. You amazing for holding up so well.

microbiologist xx said...

Man, that does suck. Do you have any idea how long you guys will have to live apart?

EthidiumBromide said...

I absolutely agree that it is harder doing the distance thing when you are married -- Husband and I had periods of long distance relationships when we were dating, when we were engaged, and now when we are married. It's definitely harder now than before.

We're also going through the same struggle with the fact that he is somewhere new (well, where he grew up, but he hasn't lived there in 9 years) and I'm still here. Plus, he took the car -- some days, I miss the car more than him! I really feel stuck and stranded while he is moving up in the world.

I am hopeful that things will get easier and more routine within a few more months... and I certainly hope the same for you, too. Good luck!

PhizzleDizzle said...

Thanks everyone. Things are improving as we figure out how to manage this phase of our relationship, in terms of getting into a routine and stuff.

MXX, we'll live apart for a few months at least, but it's not quite clear yet.

EB - solidarity, sister! I didn't have a car either for a while, and it was driving me crazy. Really. Crazy. So I feel you.

Currently, our next known visit is Labor Day Weekend - which is way too far off, but will have to do for now. I'm sure we'll add something in between.

Mrs. Chemist said...

My husband leaves every year for the summer, to a different time zone and to our hometown. It's a really hard time for both of us (particularly because I despise the phone). Good luck to you & Mr. Phizz!

Silver Fox said...

All the best wishes on this thing, and I agree that different time zones can suck, somehow emphasizing the distance not just the apartness. We, moh and I, aren't always even that good at short distance. Glad that Labor Day is getting closer.