But in the back of my mind, I'm worried that my starry-eyed excitement has more to do with the fact that I haven't really started yet, and that in a few months I'm going to realize that I'm a corporate schmuck that hates her job, just like everyone else in the world. Except I really don't think that's going to happen. Except that if it does, I'll be so disappointed.
At the same time, I'm also worried because they seemed to really want me to take this job. Because they think I'm going to kick ass. Like, a lot. And I'm worried that I won't live up to the hubbub and will fall totally, totally short. They'll be like, "why are we paying her again? why did we bring her on? this girl is nothing but an impostor!" I'll just have to work really hard to make sure this doesn't happen.
The other part of me is pleased as punch that I was so coveted for this position. That's right. I'm a rock star.
I'm going to kick some major ass.
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9 comments:
No job is perfect - but this does sound like an excellent, excellent match! And no doubt the beginning of a rock-star career!
You are gonna finish your PhD though, right? ;)
The goddamned imposter syndrome is hard to get around but I'm sure you'll do fine.
I also wanted to ask the question Cath asked ... when are you going to finish your PhD? It's infinitely harder to finish it if you're working full time than it is when you can concentrate on it 24/7.
Oh ... and if Potential Employer wants you badly enough, try to negotiate your desired starting date and salary.
Okay, first of all, I miss you!!!
Second of all, every corporate job sucks. Period. Unless you own the fucking company, your job is going to suck at least 50% of the time. If you're being paid well, it will feel as though it sucks a little less.
Third of all, Imposter Syndrome is for academia, not the private sector. If they didn't believe that you could be a rock star, they wouldn't offer you the job. In the private sector, the bottom line is what's at stake. They don't fuck around with hiring decisions.
You will rock, so take a deep breath and believe it. There is a reason that Intel commercial makes me think of you every time. Fuck the co-inventor of the USB - what have YOU got in store for us? ;)
Cath & PiT - I will definitely defend. Probably in Oct. Not a problem :). WILL NOT BE A PROBLEM. I must tell myself that every day and get my shit done.
JLK - I miss you too!!! I am hoping my job sucks less than 50% of the time. I think it will probably be less but I am afraid to be hopeful. Hope yours gets better soon.
You ARE going to kick ass!! I wouldn't even worry about that :)
As for not liking your job - even if it's your dream job, there will be something about it you don't like (or even hate). Just keep the big picture in mind, and it'll be awesome :D
So excited for you!! You are definitely an inspiration to me!!
MCH, *I* inspire *you*? No way!!! You inspire me!!! Your amazing feat of writing your thesis in like, no time, is the stuff of legend in my mind! I still have to finish mine....
In my experience, the starry-eyed excitement doesn't go away if you have found a job that's in your field of choice. What DOES turn people to hate their jobs are the extraneous/political things. I got my first office job in 1999 in the educational technology world, and ten years later I STILL wake up every morning excited to go to work and eager about the possibilities. :) Unfortunately, I went though a period when I was noticing that people with less experience, less dedication, and less education were getting promoted faster than me, getting higher wages than me. That's where some of the bitterness and dissatisfaction can come from, I think. So for me the trick was to learn to separate what I loved about my job (i.e. the actual work) from the extraneous stuff, and not to let my unhappiness about other things affect my enthusiasm and love for my job. :)
You're awesome, keep it up! :)
I hear you on worrying about living up to expectations, and hoping that the job ends up being what you hope it is. I am sure you will do great, and I hope you love your job!
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