Saturday, October 31, 2009

Being taken care of vs. being dominated

I have this friend who has got this really nice boyfriend. I like him pretty well.

The thing is, I can't tell if she is being dominated or being taken care of. Initially, I liked the boyfriend a lot because he takes care of my friend, who...well...evokes the aura of needing to be taken care of. He carries stuff for he, he does things in the background she doesn't even realize so that things just work, it's like magic.

On the other hand, it's almost like he thinks she can't do anything for herself. Granted, I have my doubts too about her ability to do certain things as well, but I can't decided if the dynamic between them two is sweet or scary.

When does "oh honey, let me do that for you" become, "oh honey, let me do that before you (because i think you'll destroy something in the process and everything is better when i do it)"?

Even worse, does the latter actually create a feedback loop SUCH THAT the person becomes worse and worse at doing things? I think that's sort of happening and it makes me concerned for my friend.

Friday, October 30, 2009

The state of science education

I was listening to NPR the other morning. I like NPR. I generally give NPR the benefit of the doubt, that they're not going to be a bunch of blithering idiots going on about stupid shit.

So it's an episode of Weekday, and the interviewee is some guy who has just written a book about the periodic table. The interviewer asks a few questions which I think are reasonable considering this is going to a wide audience: "Can you tell us, what really is an element, what defines an it?" Fine, fine.

Then she asks some sort of question saying something like, "So let's say you've got this element with 2.4 protons...."

WHAT? It made me sad.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


For the first time, I am slated to interview someone. It's kind of exciting and interesting at the same time.

I have no idea how I'm going to do it. There is a significant part of me that thinks this person is going to come out and say, "why the fuck do you have a job at this place? they should totally take me instead. you're found out now!!!"

I don't actually think that's going to happen, but one thing I am finding to be a problem is my need to feel SO on top of everything that I am extremely unsure if I don't know exactly what I am talking about, which makes me seem stupid. It's the classic "bluff" problem that has been discussed ad nauseum regarding the genders. I need time to think, plan out what I am going to say, and all that jazz. And at this interview, for a position/role that I am unfamiliar with, I am terrified of seeming like an idiot because obviously I will not be the expert in the room.

I guess I need to approach this with a position of power and not be such a wimp.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Don't worry about it, it's historical

The other day, I was minorly irked about how a form for something that I had to do now that I am a resident in New State because of New Job had Mr. Phizz's name first, even though I was the person who handled the entire interaction with Other Party.

It was just a field that involved putting who the contract was about, and the person who made the form put "Mr. PhizzleDizzle and Dr. PhizzleDizzle." It was a freeform field and could have been filled out in the opposite order without any detriment or confusion.

I said to someone offhand in my office, "Oh, that's so annoying, because I am the only person this person who made the form has dealt with. Lame."

He brushed me off and said, "Don't worry about it! It's just historical. Don't let it ruin your day."

Somehow this really annoyed me. I think I would have forgotten about it momentarily if he had not said just a ridiculous thing. I was never going to let it ruin my day, but to be brushed off with "it's historical" is the lamest thing I have ever heard. You want to know what's historical? INSTITUTIONAL SEXISM is historical. Institutional racism is historical. Institutional poverty is historical. Saying something shouldn't bother me BECAUSE IT'S HISTORICAL is garbage.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Spotting in Football

Am I the only person who thinks spotting in football is ridiculous? It's the most ridiculous thing ever. Methinks the precision of spotting is probably around +/- 1 foot, probably, and yet, they act like it's exact (or at least within millimeters) when they break out the chains. It is comical. I really find it funny.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Blogging at work

So, one thing I have been struggling with is general paranoia regarding computer usage at work.

I hesitate to check my email at work. When I log into facebook (which I look at about 1 minute of every two hours or s0 to catch up on my feed), I don't input anything - I see a status report or something that makes me want to respond in a political way, I don't. I try to remember to do it when I get home, but usually I'm wiped and the thing I wanted to respond to has been bumped off my radar screen. Likewise, when I think of something to blog, I don't. And then when I get home, I'm wiped.

I don't want to do anything at work that sheds light on my personal life, my political leanings, or even just general things that don't have to do with work. I don't even open my google reader, at all, at work.

Am I being too paranoid? Should I just chill out? Certainly, I don't want to blog at work, I do have anonymity I want to preserve.

Remember that I am in a corporate environment, not academic. I don't know. I am always very suspicious of corporations and I have read one too many articles about employees who were fired because they were careless with their usage of computers/networks. I don't know where the line is.

Does anyone have an opinion?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

To the fucker who stole $100 from my wallet

I know you think you deserve a prize for even turning in my purse after I left it on my chair at lunch. You probably think, "At least I didn't steal the whole thing."

But you know what? The $97 in cash in that wallet was MINE. Not yours. Mine.

This is the 2nd time in a year I've left my purse somewhere only to have it returned - but without cash. $45 bucks the first time and $100 the second. What makes people think this shit is ok? Do you think you deserve a fat reward? Sure, I'd feel less enraged if I was missing $20 bucks. That might be ok. But to just help yourself to all the cash because you can, is fucking screwed up.

So how can I deal with this? There is part of me that is trying to imagine that someone who is really down on their luck found my wallet and is using it to buy groceries for their hungry children for a week. There's even a part of me that if someone left a note, saying, "I'm so sorry, but I considered this a sign because I really need this to go to the doctor" or something, I wouldnt' be so upset.

But I feel really pissed and personally violated.

On the one hand, I feel lucky, because I am so a master of my own universe that I cannot remember the last time I felt this enraged by something beyond my control and that I could do nothing about. In fact, the last time was the last time someone stole cash out of my wallet. There is something to be said about being so fortunate that I am generally in control of my destiny and don't have to feel violated on a daily basis.

On the other, I am fucking pissed as hell. What the hell is wrong with this world? I would NEVER EVER EVER do something like that.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'm a Motherfucking Doctor!!!!

I'm a doctor. It's awesome.

The defense went well, quite well. I'm sooooo excited and happy!!!!!

I'm back blogosphere! Except somewhat regular blogging soon. Lots to say :).